The Jump-Off: Know your place and play your position
 OK, so I wanted to touch on a subject
that I'm pretty sure had touched you or someone you may know. The
Jump-Off is that person on the side also known as the person that you
see mostly for sex when you aren't with your main squeeze. In today's
society I believe that it is safe to say that more people cheat than
in past times. And it is also safe to say that the Jump-Offs no longer
want to play the background but feel that they deserve a place in the
forefront. With that being said, I want to discuss some of the issues
that come with having a little something on the side and how men are
having just as many issues controlling the environment as the women
are playing their position...
What
happened to the times where the sideline ho knew that they weren't
much more than that? I definitely blame the man for this because they
tend to forget where the home is and in turn let these women get attached.
I have experienced this on more than one occasion and the worst part
of it all is that they believe that what they are doing is right. If
you are going to cheat keep things in line. Most women are well aware
of the fact that their men cheat. That may sound foolish but it is so
true. I've always felt that the problem isn't the cheating but instead
the disrespect. Respect your home enough to keep it in the street. Don't
have women calling all times of night, don't sit and text a female
while your woman is sitting there and don't make them think that they
have a chance to steal you away. Let them know from the beginning that
there isn't a chance in hell for the relationship to flourish. Most
women that cheat keep things in line and I always believe that it is
not about the object of getting caught but trying to protect the man's
feelings. It is a well known fact that most men can dish it out but
fall apart when they get it back.
Why
is that? Is it because men feel like they are the only sex that can
cheat or is it because they just can't take the pain or is it just
selfishness? Whatever the case, it's always been this way. So, as
I said I've been in this situation but I didn't mention that I've
been on both sides. I've been the other woman but I've always played
my position. I've always been one to ask for honesty from day one
if a relationship is present and most times I get the typical answer
no.
Since
I like to make a point with an example, I'll briefly describe a situation
I had. I met a guy and saw him on many occasions before we ever even
spoke on the phone. As I said, I always ask about current relationships
and the answer I got was that there wasn't anyone serious. Moving
forward about nine months later he decides to tell me that he has a
girlfriend that he was with before me and he said this only days after
confessing his feelings for me. Now, this is where things could get
sticky because had I not been the type of woman that I am I could have
flipped out. This is why the foundation needs to be set from the beginning.
Had I been crazy, I would have been calling, showing up at his house,
disrespecting his woman and everything and then he'd blame it on me.
Instead I walked away. Had I known the situation from the start I could
have played my position. Now, on the other side I've had females call
me about a man that I was in a relationship going as far as saying they'd
been in my home. I've had my tires slashed, windows broken and notes
left in my door. I mean when is it acceptable for a jump-off to have
the guts to do things of this nature? This was a man that I had been
in a relationship for years and had been living with him for some time
but I had to watch my back because he couldn't put her in her place.
It
isn't as though cheating just surfaced. Men cheated back in the day
but it never came to there homes. A woman wouldn't dare break a window
or slash a tire but nowadays there isn't any fear and plenty disrespect.
There has to be a balance and most people haven't figured out how
to maintain it. As much time as people spend lying and scheming they
should equally spend enough time covering their tracks. Is this crazy?
Let me know if I'm wrong. Some people just need to be single if they
aren't caring enough to keep the serenity at home. Having stalkers
destroy property, hurt your woman and children and wreck you stability
is unacceptable and the point I'm trying to make with all of this
is that sideline chicks need to play their position and men need to
keep them in their place. Don't ever let a piece on the side wreck
your home, you need to be in control and women you need to control yourselves!
This
article isn't to preach to any choir, it is simply my opinion. The
meaning of the title He Said, She Said is to show a woman's opinion
vs. a man's opinion on many of today's issues. Feel free to comment
or email me you opinions, suggestions or questions. I enjoyed writing
this and I hope my readers enjoy reading it. Next time I'll be back
with another issue that I'm sure everyone can relate to.
Brittani Williams is the
best-selling author of Daddy's Little Girl, Sugar Walls and the upcoming
novels The Cathouse and Black Diamond. She is also the co-host of a
blog talk radio show titled He Said, She Said every Thursday night at
10PM est. Visit her website at www.Brittani-Williams.com or www.myspace.com/msbgw for more information or you
can also email her at
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