Birth from a dialyzed mother and drug addict father,

One room housed my sister, mother and I

While public assistances never quite assisted.

And dreams deferred from the playgrounds

As bullets danced the, Mary-go- round.

I am hopeless,

I am a child molested by a family friend, while mother works

I am silent in my petrified body of numbness

This secret never escapes my cavities

My wall is towering the clouds

Shielding me from all

I am distant in every approach

I am a teenager diagnosed with a high blood pressure, panic attacks, diabetes, and a kidney disease,

As my body lives through machines

And I pop pills that never heal

Yet allows me to sleep through the agony

Its getting dark now

I am a songbird

Frighten to share

As my gift withers away

From a mothers skepticism and worries of failure

So later when I decided to become a writer

My mother stated, “I thought you were going to school for a real career”

I am silent

I am a young girl in love

Cheated on

With lines of promising lust

Hope filled adventure

Relieved after every STD test came out negative.

Deceitful fairy tails I crave after every apology

I am gullible.

I am medically over weight

Society thick

Undesirable to mate

An ugly duckling

I am loud

My neck is twisting

With my hands on my hips

As my back bone slips

I am insecure.

But in the mist of everything I did get saved

To be ran over

Lied to

Laugh at

Talk about

And mentally abused

There cant be a God.

With folks like you

Who act like you do?

I am lost now.

Then there came the day

When I decided to smile

And allowed my chuckles to run a muck

And one by one I ripped the lies, liars, and the bullshit,

All of it to find me.

My lips spread,

My teeth had a reunion

And my high cheekbones flared

My head hung high,

My legs kicked ball changed to the rhythm of my happiness.

And I grand plie with the turn of my life

And leaped in to God’s promises.

I am happy.

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